MCS RECOVERY zine

And the lead detox begins

2011-06-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

I had a dream one night, soon after the earthquake in Japan, while I was still on Salt Spring Island BC. My bed was spinning, and I thought, "maybe I'm in an earthquake," but too tired to get up and since the roof hadn't collapsed on me yet, I figured maybe I was wrong, and went back to bed. Ironically, my best friend on the island who has the same illness had the exact same dream that night. I'm actually more amazed that I didn't try to get up during that dream and run out of the cabin!

There's a famous, quite insightful book, "It was on Fire When I Lay Down on It," by Robert Fulgham. From the '70s or '80s. I believe the title infers that we get our keep ourselves in trouble even when we know what's best for us.

My aforementioned friend, in the past year, has worked in a drycleaning place, painted peoples' houses for money, and sometimes uses immensely toxic cleaning solutions for her apartment. I love her, and I keep reminding her why she's not getting better when she wonders why she feels so awful, her body swollen and wracked with pain, but I can't get her to see the light. Of course, sometimes the load of toxins affecting us greatly cloud our brain, so this may be her problem, but I wish I could do something. Sometimes the toxic load is so bad, we even self-sabotage. Some of us try to prove how strong we "really" are and keep submitting ourselves to such tings. But for all of us, avoidance is key.

When I've hung around her too long and she tries to convince me that my MCS may be in my head and that I can just "acclimatize" myself to toxins, that's when I leave! Or hang up the phone! And this week, I proudly announce that I took charge. Now that all my mercury fillings have been removed, I began my lead-detox (my lead levels are right off the chart when I did the standard urine challenge test) with EDTA-chelation IVs with a holistic MD. With the Vitamin C IV that comes right after, it will come to about $200 a week and I may need a couple dozen.

But as many MCS'rs, I have heavy metal poisoning and can't sit back. My cognitive functioning already felt a bit better yesterday afternoon. Hopefully my energy will improve also. Everyone else I've met whose done these has had great success. It may even help my MCS--in great anticipation, I await. It's been ten years since I began removing my mercury fillings so that the day would come when I could do this.

It's difficult with this illness to not simply give up, but if you have mercury fillings, don't wait; summon up all the few common-sense neurons you may have left--remove the fillings now--with a dentist whose specially trained in the area. There's a protocol of how to do it and supplements to take before and after each one. Don't do it any other way. Then, do a urine test for heavy metals, and let your life begin. Don't continue to sleep on the bed while it's on fire.

Winter's coming and....

2010-10-20T22:06:00.001-07:00

Yes, winter's coming. It's almost here again. You can see it in the trees swaying haplessly in the gusty winds, the branches almost bare, but thankfully not in the frost. Not yet, anyway. And it will soon be time to turn on the heat, so I may last in T.O. for just one more month. With most buildings either offering just carpeting or laminate flooring--or engineered with the plywood underneath--I don't want to risk more "head lock" so my choice seems to be once again checking out rentals in Hawaii. Somebody's got to do it!

I'm kinda sick of moving around, but hey, there may be a good yoga teacher training (YTT) I can do while I'm there! Seemed to be one, in Honolulu. And, if I can find a cheaper rental with a lanai that I can pull a mattress onto and sleep at night as I did last time which helped me alot, I just may give my brain a long relaxing holiday. And more recovery. Would be verrry nice. Wish me luck and stay tuned...

Brain Food

2010-05-02T15:12:00.000-07:00

Aside from doing the DNR every day for my brain, I've decided to focus on nutrition that will fix it too. Ironically, one of the authors in my yoga book gave me a book called "Brain Nutrition" -- or something like that -- a few years ago, but I'm a slow learner and didn't follow it! Now, I'm eating solely for my brain. Everything that goes in my mouth--food or vitamin--is geared toward helping the blood flow and giving food for both the neurotransmitters and the myelin of my brain. Plus, of course, the diet must be alkaline.

This includes mung beans, which are apparently the highest protein bean, hemp seeds which make me feel much more grounded after I eat them, and steamed chard before bed--the chard alkalizes my blood and brain and I feel much more grounded when I wake up, and this seems to be key to everything.

Then there's fish oil pills, not eating sugars and not eating wheat (which seems to reduce my stamina and muscles flexibility by 10X by the way!), and amino acid pills to help maintain and build the neurotransmitters.

And, now I'm onto lecithin and phosphatidyl serine as well. Plus, an amazing ayruvedic goopy liquid that goes into my morning hemp protein drink, and I can't remember the name! But it's supposed to remove heavy metals from the brain and I can think much better when I'm on it.

Last but not least, there's my urine shots and chlorophyll enemas! Other than the chard and the goopy stuff and the phosphitydal serine, they seem to do more than anything for returning my brain and pulling me out of my otherwise foggy, loopy, dissociated state!

Urine shots and more LP!

2010-01-26T12:58:00.000-08:00

I'm doing the LP daily now. I had to since I REALLY have to get healthy, and I've been getting worse. Mind you, the urine shots have immensely helped my memory short term; I just have to do a few more weeks of them.

Living in another toxic place while trying to heal isn't much of a good test, so the urine shots and everything else may work much better once I'm outta here! It's a place on the water and it's BEAUTIFUL and I just wanted something nice for once. But it was renovated 3 years ago, and the neighbours informed me it's always being renovated so something has been done more recently than I was told.

So I'm looking for another place but have found a way to make the LP more fun so that I actually do it daily--I've turned it into a kind of mind-movie thing and it's so much better that I'm actually sticking with it. So far my sense of smell is returning--and I haven't had one my whole life, so that's fascinating!

Anyways, my head feels like it's crushing in right now and my teeth feel like they're pushing up into my jaw, so I have to go do my weekly urine shot (you can learn more at William Hitt Centre's website) and go for a walk.

I'm finishing editing my book (at www.yogastories.net), printing it in a couple weeks then hopefully I'm off to warmer climes to sleep with windows open!

Oh, and I bought a small Biomat which helps my brain asap for a few hours! I use it every morning since it gets rid of the crushing feeling in my head too. It puts out infrared rays so it's like a little sauna in a mat!

Role of the SYMPATHETIC and PARASYMPATHETIC nervous systems

2009-11-26T21:36:00.000-08:00

Some psychologists, shrinks and doctors feel we GAVE ourselves this condition, but I and many others, including reputable doctors, know we didn't; rather that once the MCS condition has incurred (due eg. perhaps to chemicals, mold, candida, leaky dental fillings, pesticides etc.) our blood brain barrier weakens (ie. bonds between ganglion cells) and now chemicals can enter the brain. the mind has a role in perpetuating the condition due to the fear caused and the cortisol pattern set up by a constant fight or flight response.

Here's how I believe this works...

As a person who studied medicine for years (veterinary medicine), I have furthered this theory to simplify it down to the nervous system: We are either predominantly using our SNS or Sympathetic Nervous System (where cortisol is released by the adrenals in response to inhaled chemicals or just our fear or stress), or the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) whereby the cortisol goes way down and healthy hormones increase.

Healing the blood-brain barrier is said to be done with certain supplements and detoxing, but if we stil have a broken record of negative thoughts in our mind, these will affect the central headquarters (the Brain) so this emotional component--leading to flight or flight mode-- must be halted or prevented. Otherwise, the headquarters sends a messagek to the adrenals to produce cortisol whereby we poison ourselves! I've found that doing The DNR Process is much quicker than supplements--our cortisol isn't released as much and the brain begins to heal.

Doing The Process--which isn't simply positive thinking--shifts our thoughts onto a different track where we've eliminated fear-based thinking. After doing "enough" of these mental exercises, I believe we hit a threshold where we suddenly shift over into PNS mode and OUT of SNS predominance, then our cortisol dives, our hormones and blood vessel dilation change drastically, as does the permeability of our blood brain barrier; all these have been scientifically shown to happen when cortisol decreases.

Then we can not only think much better but we don't react to chemicals as much as our blood brain barrier is less porous. I get these results and I'm still working towards being totally well, but the journey is leading that way.

I, like others, may have been more "susceptible" to MCS due to growing up in a highly stressful family environment which lowered my immune and nervous system to begin with or perhaps shut off genes which code for detoxification enzymes.

So, while brain repatterning is happening in the background and is primary in The Process, the all-important parallel key I believe, to sustain the changes is the SHIFT from the predominance of the use of our Sympathetic to our Parasympathetic Nervous System.

The Brain and MCS

2009-04-26T22:53:00.000-07:00

Toxicity can come in two forms: Environmental and Emotional. Sometimes an apple's just an apple (as Carolyn Myss says) and a huge toxic hit from pesticides or mold,or diet, etc. will just throw our whole system off. But because we live in a world of non-duality, ying yang, balance, shades of grey, and because our nervous and immune systems are so linked with our emotions, we can hamper the functioning our these systems by how we respond to our lives--a response which isn't always within our control, especially if we're children. Balance is everything in life.

So first, the emotional effect: I grew up in a family with an alcoholic parent which created a huge stress on my mind and body, and I know of many MCSrs who grew up in such a situation. I believe these years significantly lowered our immune system and raised our sympathetic nervous systems to a new high. This isn't to say that the pesticide poisoning I incurred when it was sprayed in our house annually --or the Hg leaking from my fillings--wouldn't have done me in anyways; it's just that the mental abuse and consistent fear I lived in may have weakened my body significantly enough to throw it over the edge in terms of it being so worn out already that the toxins were just the straw to break the camel's back. And it continues to keep me in a state of non-health unless I balance it out somehow to give my body a winning chance.

Toxins affect the amygdala of the brain--the anxiety center--and actually cause the release of more cortisol (stress hormone). Cortisol then allows not only for greater permeability of the cells which then allow more toxins in, but also as cortisol increases we actually create more cortisol receptors on the cells which results in a vicious cycle making us more susceptible to toxins and the chain reaction continues. The cortisol also plays with our blood sugar levels giving us more brain fog which creates an additional vicious cycle.

Brain repatterning cuts short the CORTISOL we constantly release from our habitual negative thoughts, switching it to good hormones. From my experience, I think we react to cortisol as much as we do to toxins, as may also be explained scientifically as the amygdala of the brain when it reacts to toxins puts out cortisol-- and then we get a reaction to our surroundings. Doesn't seem like a coincidence, does it?

I realized I could offset the cortisol's effect in me when I meditated for long periods (eg. 45 min at a time), I could think *much* better and felt a significant shift; my doing slow yoga with deep breathing, and reiki, would result in the same. Cortisol is so toxic to the functioning of our brain that it actually seems to account for half of my symptoms and as I'm a biological being the same as everyone else, others react to cortisol just as I do.

What's worse, and has been proven too, is that cortisol also fluctuates with the Circadium Rhythm; if we don't go to bed by 11pm, the cortisol in our bloodstream actually triples hitting its peak by around 2am instead of around 6 when we're actually supposed to wake up. When it triples by 2, it cuts short the melatonin and Human Growth Hormone we'd produce and which is vital for our health and proper aging. And, I often go to bed by 2am, but when I go by 11am I can think much better the next day.

Now, eliminate the stress via Dynamic Neural Retraining (DNR), yoga, reiki, meditation, etc., reduce the level of cortisol immediately and one can think much more clearly--basically by reducing cortisol and increasing the feel-good hormones in the body which include oxytocin, HGH, etc.

Because most people's brains are so hardwired for stress (aka. cortisol) and because our subconcious mind continues on its negative mind patterns of thinking without us even being aware of it, and because DNR conciously works to unwire this, an extra powerful response occurs where I find myself yawning continuously (continuous reduction of cortisol and increase of the parasympathetic nervous system's good hormonoes) and I find I react less to the environment (the cells are less permeable because they're less awash in cortisol which increases their permeability!).

I once had a doctor in Toronto who told me to just meditate to reduce half my symptoms, and that made me quite infuriated, because sometimes I'm just so wired from the toxins that I can't calm down enough to meditate! But there are other things I can more easily do when wired andn they include DNR, yoga, reiki, etc., and then I feel so much better, that I just meditate after because I love it!

Also, I thought he was denying my illness, but he wasn't; he just knew the biological implications of cortisol. Now, if he'd just explained the biological reasoning behind it all, I may have actually done more of this years ago!

Of course, we must not ignore offsetting the phyisical toxic load we've accumulated and how they affect the mind as well--especially if we have heavy metal or other major poisoning--both from environmental toxins and ones accumulated from years of improper elimination and bad diet. Going on an alkaline diet, plus using low heat (eg. 100F) infrared saunas regularly followed by colonics or enemas (the major toxins harbouring in MCSrs are plugging up their livers which need to be relieved). Dr. Walter Crinnion, of the Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine , in Arizona, has proven this for several years and has helped many MCSrs.

The great thing is that *while* we're detoxing our bodies these and other ways, we can have great relief in just *minutes* by detoxing our minds by "flipping" the switch from negative thoughts and images to positive ones, or on one of the scientific levels that's easiest to explain but not the entire answer: from our sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system. While DNR seems to quickest and easiest to do and targets our thoughts specifically , when we use other simple techniques above that relax us (yoga, reiki, etc.) and thus balance out our hormones and increase the energy flowing through our meridians, our perception shifts radically and rapidly and we then see things in a healthier light. I haven't found my MCS symptoms reduces rapidly with these as with DNR, but I feel much more energetic and whole from using them.

Not only do our past and present circumstances bother us less or not at all when we do all of these methods, but we then create *less* cortisol as we begin to heal ourselves through the power of our mind stimulating our body's inherent, stunning pharmacopea within. And, who knows, our cellular detox pathways may follow suit, and speed up as well!

The trip to Hawaii...and aromatherapy

2009-04-22T23:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, I finally went to Hawaii (Maui)! First the bad, then the good!...rented a room (via Craigslist) in a beautiful house that was described as having a room that opened to the outside via its own entrance (true), but what I was told about no recent renovations other than a stairwell being painted inside their part of the house (false!).

When I had major brain seizures the first night athough all my windows were open (it's around 70 at night there), I didn't know why. The room did have laminate flooring, and the landlady said the previous renter had MCS and had done splendidly there!

But when I went to borrow the phone the next day and her husband let me into the main part of their mansion to get it, I saw that the ENTIRE inside of their home had been gutted, and was being sanded, drywalled and painted!!!!!

The loft windows in the attic part of my room opened to the inside of the house via "plastic windows" and a bit of plywood, and vapours were gassing off into my room!!!!! (As we know, vapours can come through walls too).

Great, huh?

After a few days (and I spent some sleeping on the deck) he patched up the windows for me (from the inside of his part of the house) with more plywood, and agreed to stop sawing and painting till I left, but the damage had already been done and I was a basketcase much of my time there. Actually, I would have kept just sleeping outside had the beautiful jungle birds not began charting their territory each morning at about 5m!
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My saviour was finding MAUI SPA RETREAT based out of a huge "home" and a separate cottage (where I stayed--The Octagon) and is also part of The Aromatherapy Foundation of Maui) where I escaped for at least a couple nights and, because the owner, Doreena, cured me of my frostbite last year--long story but I got it on the top of the mountain on the Big Island while taking photos!--I thought maybe she could help me with my brain and aromatherapy! Which she actually did!

She gave me a special tincture with lavendar and some other stuff in it and I just put a few drops behind my ears, and in half an hour I could think MUCH better! I've been doing it for 3 weeks now (I dont' sniff it but just put it back there!) and EVERYONE i know says I'm much more focused! Which is true; very weird!

Yes, the whole thing may seem like an oxymoron, but aromatherapies are natural and the right ones, when individualized, can provide necessary factors we're lacking just like fish oils can (eg. to help the parasympathetic nervous system). Given the right ones for our individual consituency, and it's like the right key into the right lock.

And I have a couple other aromatherapy remedies from her for my candida. She grows lavender on the grounds there and the lavender water she gave me to spray on the bottoms of my feet has created incredible dreams at night (usually I have nightmares so the good dreams were quite a relief!).

Even my sense of smell started returning (well, until I returned to BC and got an awful flu and cold!).

I think she has saved a large chunk of my life since at least I can think now, but my MCS still exists, and Annie's process (that she healed herself with) seems to be the ONLY thing so far that stops my reactions--other things may make me feel better in the moment--ie. feeling more present and grounded, more together and less spacey--but haven't stopped my reactivity to the environment.

The next blog will describe the nature/nurture aspect of how I think the brain's involved in MCS, gleaned both from my experience with it and years of studying university science, including at the medical level.

Brain State

2009-03-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

My brain state has much improved, cognitively, since the propane poisoning that I've attained in the past six months, in two living situations in BC (BC can be very backwards with housing!), due to not only reiki, Hyperbaric Oxygen at HOC in Victoria, but also due to Brain State technology which I heard about from Annie Hopper and Dr. Cline. Based on this serendipity, I went to Waves of Potential in Victoria (there are also other offices worldwide using Brain State technology, and one can Google for them, but this one was the one I found in Victoria).

Dr. Susan Simpson PhD., a psychologist, is one of few people practising this quantum physics approach using a unique type of neuro biofeedback where the brain essentially listens to itself and heals! One of the practitioners in Kelowna was actually about to reverse major damage in the brain of a man who had severe carbon monoxide poisoning and was almost a vegetable, she said. So, I figured if it could work for him, it could most likely work for me.

Months ago, I visited Susan for an assessment which is basically an EEG of the brain and she showed me several "black" areas which she called "lots of brain damage" but says she meant that my neurons aren't functioning well there --especially the frontal lobe area--and I do have major cognitive problems when I'm reacting to things.

She also showed me how the right hemisphere of my brain was on overdrive compared to the left side (the side providing calmness, rationality and a feeling of spirituality) and that I was usually in Delta state, which is not the kind of state one wants to be in during the day! Basically, I was a blob, and I felt it. Frankly, I wasn't doing much of reiki or anything else as I had no quiet home to do it in or I probably would have been in much better shape!

Susan's confidence had a quality that gave me more assurance than most doctors have done (aside from the great dentist I saw in Toronto who removed a huge, invasive mercury filling without cracking my tooth!).

So, I went for it. I used my year's worth of insurance for psychology to pay for a package deal of just over half a dozen treatments, as psychology wasn't a long-term help in itself for me.

After the first two treatments, I felt somewhat better, but still wondered if I could fix the damage that propane could do. "You know," she quietly told me, with an intensity that shown me she'd seen much in her work, "You will get better, and one day, believe it or not, you will see your illness was a Gift."

Over the next few treatments, my mind did come back, my creativity and drive came back, my sense of self came back, and my access to long term memories stunningly came back.

A couple months later, when I naively lived in one more place I didn't know had propane leaking a month ago--which took me to a much different level where my blood brain barrier was further weakened, causing my MCS sensitivities to become MUCH heightened--I returned to her, this time on my own funds.

I was having severe chest pains, and pain down my left arm, and numb tingling fingers and toes. The gas had done a number on me, so I really didn't care if I spent more money as "you can't take it with you" so they say. You could see the shock in Susan's face: "You look much worse. You have to stop living in bad places. You have those huge dark circles around your eyes again". This time, I wasn't sure I could get better again, but she said anything is possible.

And it's working again. My sense of amnesia falling away. When I get more funds, I'll do some more treatments and one day, I'll feel comletely normal I believe.

In the meantime, I had a dream, just before I saw her again, where I was showing a man paintings I'd done. I actually didn't recall doing them, but showed him them anyways. They looked like child's paintings with different colours splattered on the paper, resemblant of what Susan sees in her scans. Then, at the end, I showed him one of a very realistic brain, which was completely royal blue.

I told Susan about the dream, asking her what that may have meant. Her eyebrows lifted in amazement and then I noticed, on her desk, a "bust" of a blue, plastic brain, the exact one that I had painted. I exclaimed, "That's it!"

Then she showed me her full-colour Waves of Potential brochure, opened it up, and a photo of that same brain model was in there too. "It means a healthy brain, a whole brain, one that's become complete," she said. And to imagine that my Higher Power or subconscious must have been signalling to me, in that beautiful dream, that I was on the right path, gave me hope beyond compare.

Perhaps that's what Susan meant by "the Gift". Or one of them. Sometimes something profound--call it G-d, call it the Divine, call it our Higher Self or pure energy-- breaks through to show us that we're not alone, that we're connected to a larger force and that it's watching over us, trying to guide our intuition. The Gift, in this case, may have been that I have seen this incredible Divine force as a vivid messenger, and it's solidified my belief that we are connected to all, and guided by it, as invisible as it all may sometimes be.

This gift also showed its face less "visibly" in the form of Reiki, and in the remarkable inherent energy that also affects my brain's neuroplasticity through even mindpower--Dynamic Neuro Reconditioning-- showing me that the Divine is more powerful than we can imagine, it is real, and it is on our side. All we need to do is work with it.

The Gifts...

2009-02-16T22:57:00.000-08:00

Oddly enough, MCS has brought me many gifts, and I"ll tell about some of them in the following blogs. Sure, I often want to leave this planet, think of ways I could easily exit, wish I wasn't born, feel like I have Alzheimer's, and despair for my "lost" years. But the divine people whose paths I've been blessed to cross (such as the two brilliant and incredible Annies who lead me to practices that are healing my brain in different ways) and the things I've learned, sometimes, strangely, make it all seem worthwhile.

The following story is about the first Annie I met, seven years ago, and a practice she taught me which helps me to feel much more grounded and clear-headed, as long as I practice this regularly while surrendering to the Universe...

Some people are drawn to places for their beauty, others are drawn there by community, others by an energetic "pull". I like to think that I was drawn to the magical BC island where I learned Reiki by all of the above, perhaps with karma being the source.

After several months of doing mostly Barbara Brennan healing, which showed me that the brain is actually an energy field throughout our entire body and can be healed so that we feel whole again, I found myself on the magical island of Salt Spring where, after several weeks of house-hunting, I surrendered on a yoga mat.

I just innately sent out a prayer into the surrounding ether, as I did my deep inbreaths, that I find the perfect house. Little did I know that manifestation can work so quickly while one is moving energy, and that my new landlord would offer both me and the yoga teacher rooms in her house (well, I overheard the offer to the yoga teacher and I asked if she had anothe room I could rent too!). I needed the energy of a female household after living with a person who knew no boundaries.

Within a couple weeks, Brenda's friend, Annie Klein came to visit, took one look at me lying slumped on the couch oblivious to all the laughter between the two and announced, "you need energy and I can teach you how to bring some in for yourself." Little did I know that I'd have to travel 5000 kms (from Toronto) to meet one of my greatest karmic guides. And, initially, I scoffed, but thought I'd try it. "After all," I thought, "What do I have to lose?". The healings others were doing on me were costing me $90 a week and to remain sane, with my brain injury, I seriously needed them daily.

After a couple hours training, I had Reiki Level 1, but my stubborness hadn't given out yet. I would wait for 8 months to seriously try it on myself, so great was my disbelief I could actually do self-healing like this. I was back in Toronto, lying on the bed of a Howard Johnson's hotel (where I was living till I found a place), and felt like a truck had driven over me. I seriously thought someone would find me dead. "Well," I thought, "Things don't enter my life by sheer coincidence, and meeting Annie was too special, so in honour of both her and myself, I'm going to try this."

I quieted my mind, announced to the universe that "now I'm doing reiki" and just travelled my hands over the chakras of my body. By the time my hands reached my waist about 25 minutes later, I had felt such a woosh of energy enter my body and felt so clear-headed, I jumped out of bed, called Annie long-distance and thanked her for truly giving me an amazing gift..and saving my life.

The grace of reiki is many things, for many people. In my case, reiki saved my life, made me whole, returned me to my sense of self after years of loss from multliple chemical sensitivity due to lead and mercury poisoning which had me often in a state of stupor so severe I could barely function; so bad was it that I had to leave my education in a medical school. But such was the grace that I came to be introduced to reiki which was one of the greatest life gifts than any other I have ever received in my life. And when I do have a huge setback from some huge toxic exposure (such as the recent propane poisoning), I turn to reiki, the Universal Energy, and within time, she brings me back.

The following posts will detail the other gifts I've received along the MCS journey and the woman who told me I'd one day see this "as a gift."

My manifestation plan for a home to heal in

2009-02-08T11:46:00.000-08:00

I feel much better after venting about Mexico! I've held my frustration in for four years, so someone (or someones who I can help!) must hear it and a blog's as good a place as any (or better maybe since most people with EI can't buy a magazine due to ink fumes).

I now have a system where I do my feel-good brain exercises in the morning when I wake up, and during the day when I go for a walk, and at night. It works right away in shifting my mood and making me more positive (aside from seeing the world in a much more beautiful light). And, I've set my phone alarm to go off every two hours when I do the exercises too!

And I seem to be handling this carpeted/laminated place I'm in better, without my head feeling like it's TOTALLY crushing in! My memory is better, and I think my brain is spazzing less too (I've been feeling, in the latest place I'm in like I'm having mini-brain seizures in here). So, I'll keep doing this daily along with my heavy metal detoxing and within weeks, I should feel like new!

In the meantime, I'm going to manifest a safe home to live in, and I've coined it THE SAFE HOME MANIFESTATION PLAN which you could try too if you need a safe place to finally settle down and heal as I do. I will do it with strong intention as I've manifested everything else in my life this way (rather than my mind being elsewhere!). Just like Wayne Dyer says! Here's the plan, so stay tuned!

1) A collage of beautiful home photos from yoga magazines and Natural Home magazine; Many authors who have visualized their dream homes did it through this method, and looked at the collage every day. The founder of One Coach (onecoach.com) which has great CDs said he even found he had bought the exact house in his collage, years later without realizing it till he looked back at his collage!!! The authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul books did the same.

2) "I have the perfect home for me" is my new affirmation to chant under my breath as I swim or go on long walks (I learned about affirmations from a Louise Hay book "You Can Heal Your Life" and a course I took from one of her students.

3) I'm writing a list, daily, on recycled paper, of everything I want in the home, what it's made out of, where the home should be, and what it will look like right down to the heated slate tiles in the bathroom and the beach I want it on or near!

Years ago, I read a book called "Writing on the Right Side of the Brain" which is phenomenal and talks about how the author's friend did exactly this, and it worked. I feel especially great when I write the list! There's something about putting pen to paper which seems to make it more real. And, I met a woman on New Year's eve who wrote a list about the perfect man she wanted, and two days later was introduced to him and they've been happily married a decade now!

4) I'm going to visualize the home as I begin my yoga (I once manifested a summer cabin rental this way, and bodily moving energy seems to create a better flow of attraction), when I awake, and before bed, and feel like it's within my reach. All of the above use various methods of visualization which is talked about in my favourite book on this topic which I read 20 years ago, "Creative Visualization" by Shakti Gawain.

Manifestations are magical and may come in any form, so being open-minded is key. It may manifest as a ready-made home I find, or a eco home built by a great architect she's selling off as a test home, or something that serendipitously comes my way. (The Secret movie and One Coach explains all!). Intention and love are the most powerful forces in the world, so I'm infusing all of the above to send out the right vibes.

And right now, I'm off to make some alkalizing greens with detoxifying yummy miso dressing that I learned about on the magical, environmental island of Salt Spring, BC!

Sanoviv didn't have the answer...and other Mexican clinics may not either

2009-02-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

In order to save MCSrs some of the grief and near-death experience I went through, in Mexico, I feel it's necessary at this point to tell this story which could be the stuff of a 60 Minutes expose on not only bad medicine but on an extremely poor medical understanding of MCS.

In March of 2004, I decided, after much research of clinics throughout North America, and because of my parents' misplaced disbelief in Dr. Rea of Texas, to go to a clinic called Sanoviv, in Rosarita, Mexico, to save my life. The clinic was housed in Levi Strauss's beautiful mansion, in the Baja of Mexico, overlooking the stunning ocean. My doctor in British Columbia had suggested this clinic, and although I had a dream one night to head to Hippocrates instead (a renowned raw food health centre in Florida), I didn't heed my intuition and followed the suggestion to go to Sanoviv. Oddly enough, it looked exactly as in my dream.

With my medical background from studying at veterinary school in Canada, my journalism skills, and because I’d heard great things about Usana Vitamins (which owns Sanoviv) and needed a place that provide colonics plus IVs, I weighed out my options and followed his advice.

I had severe environmental illness (multiple chemical sensitivity), heavy metal poisoning, and was declared, after live blood cell microscopy and other tests at the clinic, the most toxic patient Sanoviv had ever seen (said my assigned doctor there)

Within the first couple of days at Sanoviv, after spending $10,000 of my parents' hard earned dollars for about a week at Sanoviv, I looked forward to medical care which would match the ranks of Johns Hopkins, the Mayo Clinic or Hippocrates.

As my lead levels were way off the chart, I was having severe panic attacks and needed proper, immediate care.

There were fine people I encountered, such as the wonderful colonic therapist, Yvonne, in the spa, an incredible psychologist and meditation teacher, but then there was the other side.

There were several breaches of professionalism I saw regarding other patients…I just have room to include mine in this post. Here are the basics of what happened to me (and I did write several letters to the President of Sanoviv, but received no reply):....

-The intake doctor wouldn’t take, look at, or pass along the fat medical I brought from home to help the Sanoviv doctors do the standard: understand a patient's history, and they told me that “Sanoviv’s doctors are the best in the world" and "We don’t have to look at your Canadian test results." My doctor and the head doctor wouldn't look at it either.

-Because of my severe hypoglycemia and low blood sugar ,I needed extra protein and when m assigned doctor kindly asked the kitchen a few times to do this, they steadfastly refused from Day 1 to carry though with his request, telling me that it was up to the nutritionist to decide (a second, older and wiser nutritionist candidly informed me one night that I shouldn’t even be there but should be building my body instead of breaking it down).

-Dr. Caruba kindly informed me, in the IV room, several nights later, that the latter nutritionist was right and I should heed her advice and leave.

-On about Day 3, because my assigned doctor thought my panic attacks were indicative of schizophrenia, he called in a young psychiatrist. After just a half hour of listening to me (a very toxic person having panic attacks), she declared me Paranoid Schizophrenic!

-Dr. Vasquez, the head doctor, then set up a meeting in a closed, windowless, white room, where we sat in a circle with my resident doctor and the psychologist (which all patients are assigned); Vasquez told me to take the schizophrenic drugs and when I said I wouldn’t, he literally yelled at me that "if I didn’t do this I’d be thrown out," and told me that I didn’t know what I was talking about. that I was "an imbecile", and that "I better listen to him." My doctor told me he wouldn’t be at all surprised if I wrote a letter of complaint.

-Aside from the mental abuse I endured, paranoid schizophrenic is a very serious label to give someone. So, my doctor provided me with schizophrenic tranquilizers, Zyprexa, which he said I must take or they’d send me home. I pretended to swallow them so that my parents wouldn't think they'd wasted their money. (Ironically, the first doctor I ever saw for my symptoms, in Toronto, also thought I had schizophrenia! It seems to be a fall-back label for a crazy environmental disease doctors don't understand!)

- Fortunately, I had seen a renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Abram Hoffer, in Canada, as he specialized in vitamin therapy for various illnesses. Mine was brain fog and feeling I was losing my mind with MCS, but he assured me I wasn't schizophrenic.

-In the l950’s , not only did he discover high doses of niacin cured schizophrenics, but he founded the Canadian Schizophrenia Foundation, the Huxley Institute of Biosocial Research, the International Schizophrenia Foundation, and more.

-I’d seen Dr. Hoffer (who had cured Margot Kidder) one month prior, and he’d me non-schizophrenic (only the HOD Diagnostic Test can accurately diagnose schizophrenia).

-In a meeting arranged by Vasquez, and attended by my doctor and the psychologist as well, Vasquez proceeded to remind me that they didn’t have to listen to any of my doctors, that "ours are the best in the world", and with his face almost pressed against mine, proceeded to yell at me and threaten me regarding the drugs he threatened I must take. Later, my doctor and the psychologist admitted to me their abhorrence.

-Against my adult wishes and privacy rights, my parents were phoned and misinformed that I was paranoid schizophrenic (my mother was then about to commit me to the Clarke Institute (Canada’s major mental hospital). Mind you, I went there as an outpatient upon my return to reassure myself and my mother that I was okay, and the head psych there also confirmed I wasn't schizophrenic.

-I quickly phoned Dr. Hoffer who faxed Sanoviv a letter confirming I was NOT schizophrenic.

-In the meantime, other patients there were shocked at how I was being treated and told me I should leave. I didn’t though because I’d spent the money and was, for some reason, more afraid of my parents' reaction to my bad choice in clincs!

-However, I was becoming severely depleted with mineral loss from diarrhea, and lack of nutrition Then, I was given a sauna (although told by the top doctors in environmental medicine that I should not yet have), a long warm seaweed wrap, and not told to drink extra water.

-The next day, I awoke with severe dehydration, drank 5 litres of water, and may have had a herxheimer reaction (something the clinic vowed I would never get there).the world looked as if it was outside of a large bubble and I was in the fishbowl. A friend told me it’s similar to a bad LSD trip.

-Patients who witnessed this told me my face looked swollen and that I looked severely different. Breast cancer patients were taking care of me instead of your doctors. In the afternoon, I secretly made a desperate, clandestine phone call to my naturopath in Canada who told me to go on an electrolyte IV immediately.

-The lab, completely freaked out by now as to what happened to me, heeded my request (I didn’t tell them it was the naturopath’s request since they wouldn't listen to my Canadian doctors--and told me they didn't need to believe Hoffer either!) and put me on an electrolyte IV. After an hour, my world reverted to almost normal.

-I say almost because I was taken off a bit too early, heard and felt a huge “bang” in my head, and awoke the next morning with a huge headache and a swollen face with numbness that still hasn’t gone away. My brain function has also not been the same after that.

-On the way to the airport, I gave a note and gift, in an envelope, to the driver to give to the person who had helped me most—the colonic therapist—and when I called her days later I found out it was never given to her.
_________________
There may be good clinics down south, but be aware of the glitzy ones.

POST-ANNIE!

2009-02-04T12:07:00.000-08:00

Hi!
Sorry I haven't written on here since the workshop, but I've been moving (yet again!). Annie's workshop was great: I've had a lifelong disability of having no sense of smell --but now I can smell things!! And it stays around if I do the exercises she gave us! And, I could photocopy a few dozen pages without reacting to them! That was wild. Also, my memory came back and I also felt a great "connectiion" to the mountains and ocean here as if we were "one", so I can now thankfully see beauty in the world again!

I'll be doing this for weeks and updating people here, so stay tuned or take Annie's workshop and update me!

In the summer, I ordered about $200 worth (eg. more thann 30 weeks worth) of special needles from the William Hitt Centre in Mexico as Urine Shots have been turning people around--within a weeks of shots of your own urine in your butt, some people get off their masks! (You do one shot a week , the same day every week).

Dr. Cline, in Nanaimo BC, does this for people and he has them expose themselves to things that really bother them (like bleach), then they don't pee for three hours, then you collect your urine right then, filter it (nurse or doctors do this in the special needle) and inject it into your bottom within 5 minutes. Dr. Hitt doesn't do the exposure thing, so Dr. Cline's method works better. Don't kill yourself, but give enough exposure so you produce an antigen/antibody response for the urine shot to work.

It costs alot to go to Mexico or BC, but Dr. Hitt may mail the needles too you as he did with me if you call him and say you can't afford to go there. He actually comes to the phone or calls you back! He'll send them if you have a doctor to help you.

Between the shots and Annie's exercises, I predict great hope for myself.

It's better to do these things rather than spending tonnes of money on equipment or remedies that haven't been proven for MCS , so I'm sticking to these two for now.

Stay tuned for my story on Reiki which saved my life and which will make you feel much better until you totally heal! I've been doing it for six years :)

MCS recovery weekend!

2009-01-21T12:59:00.000-08:00

This weekend I"m off to Annie Hopper's Dynamic Neural Retraining (DNR) workshop in Campbell River (www.anniehopper.com). She's the counseller/brain researcher/wunderkind who healed herself of MCS and is helping others.

I've been living in a place which claimed to have hardwood floors but they're really laminate and I've been having brain spasms every night, and now have to look for another place for Feb. 1. Mind you, the propane leaking from their gas fireplace didn't help me much, either. I'm quite sick of this, to say the least, and Annie is an incredible inspiration, so I"m off to learn her stuff, to practice it daily, and hope to be the next wunderkind!

Check out her success story on her website and you'll see why I'm astounded..mind you, knowing someone personally who cured themselves is even more astounding than reading about them, and her scientific explanations just give me more faith!

In short, she had a major car accident and an encounter with toxins which combined to trigger the MCS (her whole story's on her website), and she was a wreck for a couple years. Then, "ta da!" ...well, check out her website and you'll see what I mean!

New year; new start

2009-01-09T00:47:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping to finally get much better this year. At the end of the last year, I left a home with suites with real hardwood where I actually wasn't feeling too badly if I slept with windows open (bit difficult during major blizzards though!). Left primarily due to extremely noisy housemates. Here are my resolutions for this year:

-Do much more accupuncture and reiki and yoga (they're saving my life).

-Follow the lead of my friend and health coach, Annie Hopper (anniehopper.com) who remarkably, completely healed herself of MCS. She may be one of the most remarkable and disciplined people I know.

-Finish the research and grant applications to finish my MCS documentary and book.

-Publish my yoga book "Stories From the Yogic Heart" (at www.yogastories.net) by March (this one I'm most sure I can pull off!).

Right now, I'm living in place #1 for this year, and hoping that I live in a max of 3 for 2009! I have to leave this one earlier than expected because it's got laminate flooring (though Annie could now handle it!) not engineered hardwood as they think. Otherwise, it's beautiful, by a lake with swans, and scores of cedar, fir and arbutus trees (I'm on Vancouver Island!). Here's what's happening:

I come in and my jaw starts quivering like Parkinson's almost and stays like that as I go to bed. This type of reaction hasn't happened to me in years, and happens to me very rarely and is a sign of something quite "off" . The electric heat doesn't help, but the landlords said the flooring was engineered hardwood (real hardwood on top) but it actually feels like plastic (laminate).

So, I compared the stairs in here (which feel and look normal) to the rest of the plastic-feeling floor that lines the living room, kitchenn and bedroom, took photos and went to the Rona store to compare and feel floorings, and I'm 99% sure that only the stairs in here are real hardwood and the rest is plastic (worse when I turn the heat on in here, of course).

I may go to Vancouver tomorrow to check out a shared house (where ironically, one of the woman is an environmental consultant who meditates!). Stay tuned, especially since I finally have to report on the remarkable Brain State treatments I had, and more. Quantum physics rocks!

Until we meet again

2008-12-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

After a scary night where I woke up with half my swallowing reflex gone (a result of sleeping in an old building with the windows not open), I saw my Saltspring Island friend, Ranaan, for what will be the last time until probably next summer. Like me, Ranaan is also getting these amazing Brainstate treatments (but more about that later!).

We walked along the seawall of Victoria, him tired from three hours of sleep, as he's been sleeping outside in the cold each night, unable to bare it in the place he rented. He's finishing his first set of Brainstate treatments next week, then he's off to his usual winter escape--woolfing at an organic farm in California for the winter.

I'd just had another night of dreams of house-hunting (I've had to endure these creepy dreams for years now) I wasn't in much of a mood to converse, but didn't know when I'd see him again.

We serendipitously met about four years ago on the island. He was one of my saviours along the way by telling me about a German doctor who was giving magical craniosacral treatments which I initially scoffed at but which gave me such clarity of mind that I wanted to do them daily. They showed me (though I basically knew this from yoga) the inherent beauty and power of the body to heal what others call psychosomatic or incurable--MCS. Gently moving bones and fascia in the body not only helps drain toxins from cerebralspinal fluid but affects the nervous and immune systems also, magically entailing the body's own healing powers.

It felt like time hadn't changed at all; me wondering how to find the right housing situation, and Ranaan talking about how much time he feels he's wasted--endlessly moving from one place to another; I've seen him do this for years, paying rent and not even sleeping indoors at the place he rented. I pay rent, sleep indoors, then I lose rent since I have to ditch the place and signed a lease! In February, I slept on the lanai at the house I was staying at; the bedroom was beautiful but too moldy. I'm looking for a warm place to do that again.

One of us has to stop our circular path though or life isn't going to change; he's not going to make a living being the great songwriter he is, I'll never write my dream article for the New Yorker, and it will be like a bad reply of the infamous poster, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". I may just have to rent pricier places that aren't moldy, be able to write more and it will all even out. Makes sense to me.

I'm off to Vancouver to a short term rental that has an organic bed; the rental from LA didn't pan out--I decided to not repeat the mistakes of renting with unknown roomates, carpeted places, even when the person sounds great. My life is too complicated as it is, so off to a new life of simplicity and greater clarity I go.

Leaving once again

2008-12-05T00:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the last day of cleaning up my apt at Jane's (where I basically lost two months' rent). I took the last few bags out--it only took me about two weeks to move out of there fully since I could only handle it in there for an hour at a time even with the windows open. I ended up with about 15 boxes of stuff--papers, clothes, computer stuff, vitamins, juicer, printer, etc.. Which to mail back to Toronto, which to keep here? I decided to just keep the necessities here so that when I do find a place, I'll have what I need handy.

I UPS'd five boxes, gave five more to a friend to hold, and five are in a small storage that I'll use while I'm here. I've repeated this tiring cycle many times in the past six years of coming to BC to escape the pollution of toronto.

Luckily, the tenant below (Corrie) was quite empathetic and understood why I had to cancel my rent cheque when I mistakenly bounced the $2000 cheque I'd written to the therapist giving me brainwave training (I thought she'd cashed it and she hadn't until too late). Now I had none left for rent when I had to rent a new place!

Corrie was quite empathetic and has been one of my angels of late during a period which has turned into an unexpected nightmare (Maybe should have maybe just rented the good place I saw a few months ago even though it was quite near hydro tower fields!). Then she gave me a big hug goodbye. For a person who has never met an MCSer, she's been an angel in disguise.

The letter

2008-11-22T20:06:00.000-08:00

This may give some people a good laugh for the day. It's from one MCSer to another (myself) and she's even worried about renting to me...not that I blame her! But I think I can work it out since it's in warm weather and open windows help alot...I kept her name annonymous . I"m trying to go to california for a month so that I can take a much-needed yoga retreat, be in warmth, sleep with the windows open, go for long walks and get more oxygen to my brain....here's her letter...

From: Fellow MCSer
To: envirolisac@yahoo.com
Sent: Saturday, November 22, 2008 5:25:41 PM
Subject: Re: APT IN SANTA MONICA

HI,

I have to think about it..I am just concerned..I myself do not have the energy to help with such matters ...I know what a nightmare I have been when I was really sick..you have told me you move from place to place..it sounds still very critical..I am not sure I can take the stress myself..you are very nice and I appreciate your being for sure..I just have to make sure...I am going to sit with it for the night...please make sure you have a back up plan..regardless what if something bothers you here and I can't do anything about it..I have to let you know I can not refund your money..it goes to rent and it is gone and financially I can't do it from me being sick I am scraping by myself from spending it all too from being ill...sooo..mm let me ponder it..

Thanks\many blessing for healing....

Fellow MCSer

Here's mine back to her....

Dear Fellow MCSer:
Thanks for your concern. Seriously, even though it's been very stressful being denied rentals by so many people due to my illness; being turned down by someone else whose been ill is kind of humorous in a way! Actually, if I ever become a standup comic, I'll add this to my material! I may even put your letter (making you annonyous!) in my mcsrecovery.blogspot.com blog!!

So please consider this: my idea is for me to pay for a month, try it a couple weeks, and if it doesn't work, here's FOUR different ideas: you can put me in your other condo if no one has rented it yet, or I share it with someone, or I find another place or I just come back here!! (and you still keep the rent). If I had to leave and found you someone for the rest of the time, I'd get paid back; otherwise not.

But hopefully we can make it work out. As long as you don't think your carpet is moldy from all the steam cleaning, the other roomate doesn't use hairspray or perfume in the bathroom (it's not good for your health either), and she's respectable and kind, it should be okay.

I can just sleep with the windows open partially as I did last night in the carpeted hotel. It's much warmer there at night than here in BC!

Lisa

anyways, tonight I'm off to Fairholme Manor B&B in Victoria for the week--the best B&B you could find for MCSers on the island, and the only one I've felt good in (affordable for me for a week!).

I'M BACK!

2008-11-21T00:47:00.001-08:00

Its about 20 days since my last post because I've been quite ill in that apt; we turned off the pilot light for the gas stove two days after I moved in (I was waking up with no feeling in my legs and I was falling over as I couldn't balance), but even after the gas was turned off, something was wrong. So, I ended up in a hotel (not great, but no gas and I don't feel like my head is caving in).

I'd be feeling better if I didn't keep returning to this house to cook food and spend an hour or two there to make sure I wasn't imagining feeling ill (then my head would start feeling like it was crushing in and I'd get even worse). Stupid. Either there is a gas leak (but can't be since I had the gas guy come check) or since it's a 100 year old house the cooking and cleaning fumes from the people living below are coming up through the floorboards (not inconceivable since people in apts can smell paint when someone below them is painting!). There's also a garage below my bedroom (though it's just storage).

The GOOD NEWS is that the brain wave therapy I'm doing in Vic (www.wavesofpotential.com) is starting to work. It had a very hard time working when I kept counteracting it with toxins--which caused me to cry almost every waking hour for the past two weeks--until I decided yesterday to keep the door wide open while cooking then I run out of there.

But today, after 24 hours of pretty much avoiding the apt (other than having an ENVIRONMENTAL INSPECTOR come in yesterday--I'll write more about that later), I had a major shift in the brain wave therapy.

I seem to be coming out of what has felt like near-amnesia for the past four years (and it's been getting much worse as time goes on) where I felt very disconnected from myself. From my questioning other MCSers, this is an extreme symptom which goes beyond brain fog and it shows some brain damage, according to the therapist treating me with this Brain States therapy, and I'll talk more about that coming up. I never thought I'd get back to myself or remember what myself even is, but the train may be reversing, returning back to its home. I'm still reacting to things, but at least I can think clearly. But there's more brain wave treatments for me coming up. I've gone from basically being near suicidal to having hope. Stay tuned.

The latest apt.

2008-11-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

I'm in my new suite in Vic. The good thing is it's near a great yoga studio, accuncture, coffee shops and health food store.

The bad side is that I had my friend, Ian, check it out for me after I found it online and liked the photos. He has severe MCS and I was out of town but figured I'd rely on his body's intelligence-- if he didn't react to it, "I wouldn't either." Dumb idea. Deep in the recesses of my mind, I knew that everyone reacts differently, and that I'd made the mistake of having others check out places for me before, but I relied on him since I was in a different city and figured I may get lucky this once.

Unless one is very careful, finding a place in the rainforest that's not moldy is rare; many people don't think about the mold-factor. If there is no insulation in the walls as there isn't in this bedroom and if it's often cold as this house is, mold grows and it can be black and behind the walls even if no one sees it. It's most certainly in the walls of the bedroom here, and I only know because my head starts not only to feel like it's "caving in" with my brain being squished, but I get "radio head" where my background thoughts--or "monkey mind" as it's called in yoga--becomes very loud and it sounds like I'm hearing a non-sensical radio. It only happens in moldy or pesticide-ridden areas.

Inflammation --as is discussed in a great book "Brain Allergies"-- isn't good for the brain and as my friend and "mcs coach" Annie says, my "health comes first". This may literally be around the 39th place I've lived in, in the past 8 years of my MCS, and I've only had to skip out on one other (for poisoning me out with moth ball fumes seeping in from the adjoining garage causing 'firework' images to go off in my head) where I lost $500 in a small claims court, but I can't stay in here though there's a good chance my exhaustion will give me no alternative. It takes alot of energy to house hunt and is one of the prime stress factors in Maslow's triangle.

I don't like skipping out on landlords even when they don't tell the truth about mold (in the walls), loud noise (from a nearby construction site) or inconsiderate neighbours (in this case, a non-empathetic nurse ironically lives in the suite above my head), but I am reacting badly and I'm even slurring my words (happens in the worst of conditions) and this would only be the second time I'd have to do it, but I'll try find her another tenant instead.

WHAT DO DO while looking for another place to live? I've bought about three space heaters, and I plan to open windows slightly to bring in fresh air and blast the heat at the same time so I don't freeze. Wallmart's great; you can return items (eg. if you can't afford them) with in 90 days. If it wasn't so cold out and if I wasn't renting a new (smelly) rental car, I could even sleep in that as I used to do for naps in my old car, but overnighters won't work in this one.

I'm starting brain-wave treatment tomorrow and the ten sessions will cost me almost $2000 so I don't want to offset any good I may do by sleeping in a toxic apt., so hopefully this heat-window idea will work. Fortunately, I have health insurance to pay me the $2000 back.

There isn't anyone in the family offering safe accomodation so if this doesn't work and I don't find a healthy place, it's off to warmer pastures where I can sleep with windows wide open. Can't do the research work I'd like but at least I could heal.

Hawaii may do the trick. And maybe in the light of the moon and the darkness around it I may be able to do research on my laptop outside.

Stay tuned.

Hope

2008-10-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Today, as I walked along "The Wall" or the boardwalk of Kitsilano Beach in Vancouver, I passed several people lounging out in the sun on park benches or jogging by with their dogs. It made me feel better about hanging out too as others were taking the luxury to take care of themselves and do their writing in this small paradise with its ocean and mountainous backdrop.

There was one person who, in particular, caught my attention, however. She was sitting on a bench with a pad of paper in her lap, writing while busily talking on the phone. "Hope is the key to life," she loudly told her friend on the other end, and repeated it a few times. It sounded like she was answering a homework question, actually. Maybe she was.

And I found it quite apt that I would walk by then and catch that snippet of conversation. Hope really is all I;ve hinged my life on the past few years, even in times I wished I'd have the courage to end it all, and I continue to hang onto the threads of hope. There is nothing else. And luckily I think I'm getting closer to the answer at the light at the end of the tunnel.

gas heating

2008-10-28T00:34:00.000-07:00

Gas heating doesn't always bother me, but propane heating does. Big time! Right now i"m in an old natural gas heated home for two weeks before taking another place for two months, and there's something that gives me a headache in this Vancouver one, so what I do is open the window about 4" and turn up the heat a bit (which costs a bit more in heating but is worth it).

It works in BC where I am right now since it doesn't go below zero here so the pipes can't freeze and burst!

Then I also have a Heaven Fresh ionizer going.

Today I felt much better when I awoke and it was either because I had a glass of water with Cell Food in it before bed, or because i did a chlorophyll enema also and swallowed a blue green algae capsule. Or, maybe it was just the super-alkalizing of my body which helped.

Anyways, I'm going to try this tonight too and then I'm off to alpha waveland by meditating for at least half an hour to ward off my bad dreams where I seem to always be looking for housing!

The first day of your recovery

2008-10-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today is day one of my recovery zine, a zine I have begun because I have a book to write to help others, but first it starts with a blog. I have a dis-ease I need to heal, I have a story to tell, and I have the millions of others around the world with this illness who don't know what is happening to them, to reach.

Ten years into this illness, I've learned much and I learn more every day. And lately, I've encountered several treatments which are getting me closer to my former fantastic state of health and I'm going to bring them to you daily, as well as offering updates often--a health diary of sorts--which help me realize which foods and treatments help me daily; it's a diary similar to one which you may wish to begin for yourself as well--a calendar of your symptoms: when you feel better, what caused this? When you don't, what caused that? Then, when you refer to it later, you can take the road best travelled.

Today is the first day of your road to recovery. You are not crazy, you are not alone. The environment is crazy, our diets are crazy, the mercury fillings in our mouths are crazy, and we have poisoned ourselves with all. This is the reality. Your illness is real, but you can change this.

Environmental Illness (aka. MCS or multiple chemical sensitivity) was recognized by the Canadian Government as legitimate; so legitimate, in fact, that all treatments for it, including vitamins, are not taxed.

The first tip for recovery is believing that your illness is real but paradoxically not dwelling on it. Instead, use your energy positively--in taking action by doing things which help you--yoga, clay baths, enemas, colonics, reiki, avoiding toxic people: whatever helps. Flip every negative thought into a positive one as the adrenaline caused by the negative will just make your symptoms worse.

And, to help you begin to believe in yourself, check out the fantastic book: "Allergic to the 20th Century" by Peter Radetsky which some of the science. It was my first step along the road to recovery--recognizing what had happened to my body and it may be the first step in your recovery, as well.

All the best,
Alisa Miriam Cherry B.Sc.
www.lisacherry.ca